I have been thinking lately about what kind of mom I want to be. I think growing up in a household run by a very strong mom makes you think this way. A lot of my qualities come from my own mother, being tough, being ambitious, being determined. But I also know my mom had to be a certain kind of mother because she didn't really have a choice; she did what she had to do to make it work for all of us.
I certainly have more of a choice. I have a really supportive husband, a good job, a mom who watches and supports our kids, etc. I want to be a more soft, squishy, lovey mom, not one who is always worrying about work or success. I don't want to miss those lovely moments with my kids because I'm too busy making sure that things are just right. But internally I have this conflict of feeling like if I am not tough, ambitious, pushing things to be better for the kids and myself and the family, I'll regret it.
What I come back to time and time again though is my mom's words, "I did all that so you wouldn't have to. I was this way so you don't have to be." I'm trying to take that to heart.
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